


kanamari 1

by totaldile



Series: miki's love live prompts and ficlets [7]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: F/F, written pre episode 9 so apologies for any inconsistencies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 02:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8185945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totaldile/pseuds/totaldile
Summary: the past hurts





	

It starts with a signal.  
  
 **side A - kanan**  
  
It’s the first time you’ve flashed it like a lighthouse in years, and watching her descend the steps in that white dress with the same hair, same gait, same expression that you’ve known for years brings back nostalgia in full force, slamming against your chest like the waves to the jetty. It takes a lot to keep your face even, because you want to scream and cry, but you’ve been suppressing for years and god forbid you let it all out now.  
  
She stops in front of you, wearing the devilish expression she stole from you (and you’re sure you stole her solemn expression from that day, too). She starts up immediately about Chika and the others - barely a word thrown your way in greeting, and of course she leaps into what she thinks is the root of the problem.  
  
You were just like her once upon a time, and seeing yourself in the way she carries herself hurts more than you can say.  
  
It’s over, you want to say, we failed. Yet she just keeps staring at you with that same conviction - that same wrong conviction that lead you here in the first place.  
  
What she does next catches you off-guard - opens her arms and welcomes you into them, a soft expression on her face you’ve seen only a few times before. It’s then, you think, that you’re nothing like her.  
  
You walk past her with a hardened expression, and refuse to let yourself turn around, because if you see her cry again, it’ll all come spilling out.  
  
 **side B - mari**  
  
You wonder if this is what it felt like when you decided to leave. You had your reasons, moreso than anyone could know - but you hardly believe Kanan and Dia woud have ever seen it that way. They might have given up first, but you were the one to leave, after all.  
  
And now Kanan’s showing you just how much it hurts to be rejected.  
  
It’s not the hot, thick tears that spill onto your cheeks, nor the hard, heaving breaths you take that really hammer it in.  
  
No, it’s the way that she stops when she hears you sob, then keeps on walking. A hesitancy, then a decision. She still cares, but she still chose to walk away.  
  
Kanan’s always been the leader - she was the one that got you into the idea in the first place, all the way back in your first year. She was the one who cheered you up when you were feeling down or frustrated or unhappy.  
  
Now she’s the one to deliver you the gutpunch you’ve had coming for two whole years now. You gasp for air a little as soon as she’s out of earshot, bending over and wondering if the splotches of water on the ground are from you or the waves. Salt water either way.  
  
You get it, though. This is how they felt when you turned your back on them.  
  
You climb the steps back up to your house through heaving breaths.


End file.
